Do We Respect Our Elders?
Recently I heard a discussion why they elderly (those over 70) turn to religious instituions for comfort and companionship. One rabbi stated that at temple, the elderly felt respected for their age and wisdom garnered from their years of living. They felt comfortable amongst other people of similar years and respect from those who were younger.
I know that I respect many people with long term recovery for their time in NA, but not always for their years on this planet. I don't know many addicts over the age of 65 (me being one of them). I wondered if we addicts feel that same kind of respect for our elders because they have garnered life experience and wisdom and have survived? I am posting this topic in the hopes that some of the older people in NA will respond with their thoughts and feelings about being "seniors" in NA. And also how those who are younger view them.
Do we respect our elders.
On of the things my recovery has afforded me is respect for myself. In respecting myself, I in return respect others. All ages. However, there is a special sense of respect when it comes to someone elder than me. I guess it's because I hold them as having more knowledge, more experience, maybe more wisdom. This does not close my mind to non-elders from being knoweldgeable, experienced, or wise. Because I do feel the all of those qualities come from within a person. I have learned to value and learn from all ages.
Respect:
Great topic. I have learned much from the people that have gone before me, in life as well as in recovery. I wish I had not had to learn all the lessons the hard way, but I chose to...
We all have much to offer the fellowship and each other. I am not an elder although I have many in my life I look up to. I choose to look to the things relevant to my recovery in others and not simply the fact they have lived longer than I have. There are alot of great role modles in our area and I am thankful to them all for living a long life and continueing to attend meetings regularly and show the new members that this is a life long process. Thanx
Do We Respect Our Elders?
I just turned 60 in life and 38 in the rooms. Not certain I qualify by your standards above, but maybe close?
I feel very respected by most in the rooms. The ones that don't? It would scare me if they did, lol.
I listen to my elders, the ones who have a good life. The ones that have what I want. It has worked very well for me, thank them.
When I came in the rooms I was 22 in an area where recovery was strong and people with 20 years plus were plentiful. I learned from the "seniors" of my day and am so grateful they were in my life.
I have many of their talks on tape and CD and once a year or so I will listen to them and be reminded how blessed I was to have known them, and to have learned from them.
I live in an area, 29 Palms, that is in the "Toddler stage" of recovery. Yet, I marvel at the closeness of the fellowship here. The rooms are serious and positive most of the time. The seniors I learned from would be proud and comfortable in this area.
I think I'm respected for what I've made of myself and what I do in my life more than my time or age. I hope so. I've known many people with great amounts of time that have miserable lives. I know of many who got 20 plus years and relapsed. Why would anyone follow their way I wonder?
Work those steps, "how we did it." Learn from those who have got what you want in your life. That worked for me and still does everyday and just for today.
Today I also learn from the young. They have what I want. :)
Thanks for that. I think in
Thanks for that. I think in today's crazy life 60 is an elder. I turn 65 in February. I sometimes feel that those who ae chronologically younger but have more clean time than I get more respect, even though they don't have all the life experiences I do. We seem to respect clean time years more than age years. This is polar opposite to many subcommunities in life. I know that in some religious organizations, the older people congregate because they are respected for their years of life and experience. This is true at my mother's temple in Palm Desert. There I see people in their 70s, 80s and 90s interacting at a different level.
I learn certain lessons from the young people in recovery, quite often patience, tolerance and love. I suppose that all of this is also tinged with other criteria such as education, life experiences, etc. I heard a speaker, female aged 60, say that she found it difficult in NA to find people to connect with on a cultural level. She was raised to appreciate classical music and the arts and didn't find similar minded folks. I sure can relate to that. I came from that world also and rarely find anyone in the rooms to share those experiences with.
Elders
I was told by an elder early on in recovery that addicts have "the disease of the ability to relate." That perspective has always had value to me. Learning to relate to others is the magic of how the group works. We are loners who become social. Humans are social animals. Alone they do not do well at all. Healthy people, defined as those who can work and love in ways that benefit themselves and society, have been found to differ from insane people in only one primary way. They have a support system of 3-5 people outside their family that they can be who they are with. Also, they have 50-250 acquaintances that expose them to different perspectives of life.
For me, NA is where I began my socialization. I have “groups” outside NA that bring me together with people that know the history I have lived through. They are as important to me as NA is. Without NA I know I would let go of them also. I am an addict. I will always prefer to do it on my own, at my own expense. I never want to go to a meeting of any group. I’m always glad when I do it.
Respect
Sometimes you don't get it and it's fine with me. I've been given enough in my life to keep trying to get it. People all do the best the can in this hard life. Some a piss poor job, but it'sthe best with what they've been given, I believe.